I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
