i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
