woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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