Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize