I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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