he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
