I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
