somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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