In the future we'll all be gay
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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