you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
