Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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