i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
