i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
