if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
