Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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