I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
