A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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