what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
How's work?
Spinning.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
