I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
