come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
