the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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