I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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