Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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