he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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