Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
