I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
