you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize