it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
