did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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