Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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