I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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