Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He felt like a one man threesome
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
