Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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