maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
only you would photoshop your dick
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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