Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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