that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
