apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So many bounce houses so little time
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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