If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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