can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
