Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
