Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
