I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just tell him i said nine months
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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