My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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