Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
