Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
