girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize