Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Found the puke drawer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
