Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
