Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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