drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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