just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
