I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
