so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
