You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
