Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
