i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
