like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
